Have you ever been “in love?” Do you know that feeling? Some have called it butterflies (i.e., anxiety), others describe it as blindness to reality (i.e., rose-colored glasses). A feeling like our whole world is consumed by that one person– forgetting what lies before and what comes after is left unimaginable without them. It is sheer intoxication, addiction, and lust. We seek every bit of contact with that person just to feel that high, or rush of adrenaline… and when that feeling sinks low, we look for another text message or call. Any form of contact just to be completely beset by our beloved.
We fight so hard for that feeling of “love” that we are willing to compromise on the things we desire (e.g., our “deal-breakers”), our morals, or even our whole selves. To impress, we may pretend to cry with utter compassion while watching rom-coms or attend a sporting event pretending we care about the outcome of a home run or touchdown. We may buy a fresh new jersey and put stripes under our eyes for a football game, schedule a date at a car show, go shopping together, or watch the midnight stars on a padded blanket under the moon. Feigning concern, all in the name of romance; and all just to catch the sweet scent of our beloved treasure. “He kissed my cheek! I’ll never wash it again!” Our hearts scream…
But why do we seek out this feeling with such great fervor, when we know the feeling will fade? Do we think we will be the only exception to the human race who will have a burning hot marriage every moment of every day of every year we are alive? Or do we just ignore that fact because we know the feeling gets us so high?
Maybe we think having someone by our side will cure our loneliness; however, loneliness is just a symptom of an inner void. Maybe you were abused, humiliated, or abandoned by someone, so you think: “Well, my void was left by a man/woman, so it’s only natural that my void can be filled by a man/woman.” This is a flat-out lie… dark deceit simmering just below the surface ready to boil over, yet we keep it at bay by looking the other way. Sweeping it under the rug, rather.
We may seek to fill the inner longing we feel with love, television/movies, romance novels, video games, sports, social media, eating, chocolate and ice cream, and sprinkles galore… but none of these seem to work, because once we are done being distracted by them, the feeling of longing pops back up like a game of Whac-A-Mole. Thus none of these are real solutions; rather they are numbing distractions. But why not seek a true solution? Will it take too much effort?
There is a way to address our voids without filling them with people or “things.” Love, for example, will always let us down. Not because love is imperfect, but because people are. No one is going to be able to live up to our need for perfection– a person who is there for us 100% of the time no matter the circumstance. People argue, we disagree. We cannot be perfectly compatible with anyone on this earth, yet we are disappointed when they cannot live up to our expectations. Maybe it’s not “them” but our expectations that are the problem. Our anxiety, depression, or loneliness will not be cured by any human being present on this earth.
Let our counselors at NuWell Counseling help guide you into inner healing so that the “need” for “something” or someone will be subdued into a desire. Wouldn’t you rather be with someone out of a desire, as opposed to a selfish need? Wouldn’t you rather desire to love someone than to seek to merely receive? NuWell Counseling can help. Take the first step and sign up for a free 30-minute consultation with one of our beloved counselors, and see where the road of love will lead… surely to open fields with the flowers of joy and peace!