Kintsugi is an ancient Japanese method to repair broken pottery. In Kintsugi, the craftsman doesn’t attempt to hide the broken parts of the pot but instead utilizes gold or silver to highlight them; making something beautiful out of something broken. A similar technique can be applied to marriage. Just like that pot, we are broken vessels, but God is our craftsman. Through His grace, he can use our broken pieces to make something beautiful and strong from us again. When we hurt our spouse with our words and our actions, God has called us to forgive as Christ forgave us. What happens when a marriage is broken seemingly beyond repair? The answer is wonderful, but the road to it is not easy. As Christ forgave us, He also restored us. We can follow His example when considering these three ways to reconcile a marriage…
- Reconciliation is Remembering Reconciliation: Remember the sacrifice Jesus made for us to reconcile us with God on the Cross. When our spouse sins against us, we can be reminded of how we sin against God. When they reject or betray us, we remember how man rejected and betrayed Jesus and that, despite that, we were forgiven. The reconciliation of Christ is the building block in our relationship with our spouse.
- Reconciliation isn’t Punitive: We should remember God’s attitude to sin. He doesn’t let it go, but by grace, He forgives us. Even after our baptism He lovingly disciplines us to restore us. Scripture talks frequently about suffering. Through God’s grace, we know that He will provide meaning in our suffering, a path to safety, and He promises that we will be healed.
- We Must be Patient: Patience is the fruit of the spirit. We must pray for God to heal what is broken. We must emphasize and validate feelings; giving space at times and always trusting God to heal. We must pursue tenderly and lovingly just as God pursues us, trusting in his timing. We must understand that after trust has been broken or words have been said, it can be difficult to get back on track. Encourage your partner in how you see God moving in your life and theirs so that you can both take the next leap of faith together.