Faith and marriage
You still love each other, but conversations keep turning into arguments, or into silence. One of you has suggested “getting help,” and now you are both wondering what that would actually look like, whether a counselor would respect your faith, and whether it would even work.
Christian marriage therapy is licensed couples counseling that intentionally integrates Christian faith. This guide explains what it is, how it differs from pastoral marriage counseling and coaching, what to expect, and when a different kind of help should come first.
Quick answerChristian marriage therapy is couples counseling provided by a licensed mental-health professional who integrates Christian faith. It fits couples facing repeated conflict, broken trust, or emotional struggles affecting the marriage. Pastoral marriage counseling, like NuWell’s, is non-clinical support focused on Scripture, prayer, and faithful next steps. Couples counseling is not recommended when one partner is abusive; in that case, individual safety support comes first.
What Christian Marriage Therapy Is
A Christian marriage therapist is a licensed professional, such as a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) or licensed professional counselor (LPC), who brings clinical training and Christian faith into the work. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, marriage and family therapists are trained in both psychotherapy and family systems, which means they look at the patterns between people, not only at each person separately.
In practice, a Christian marriage therapist helps a couple understand their conflict cycle, improve communication, repair trust, and address individual struggles that are affecting the marriage, while respecting the couple’s faith and, when they want it, drawing on Scripture and prayer.
Three Kinds of Marriage Help
Christian marriage therapy
Assessment and treatment by a licensed clinician who integrates faith. NuWell refers to Grace Christian Counseling for licensed Christian marriage counseling.
Faith-centered guidance
Non-clinical help with Scripture, prayer, forgiveness, and recurring patterns. See NuWell’s online pastoral support for couples.
Practical goals
Forward-focused help with routines, communication habits, and shared plans for couples who are generally stable.
When Licensed Therapy Is the Better Starting Point
- Infidelity or betrayal has left one or both of you with intrusive memories, panic, or depression
- One spouse is struggling with depression, anxiety, trauma, or substance use that is shaping the marriage
- Arguments regularly escalate to yelling, threats, or name-calling
- You have tried talking it through for months and nothing changes
- You are considering separation and want a careful, guided process
Pastoral marriage counseling can fit well when both spouses are safe and stable and the main need is spiritual: forgiveness, prayer together, understanding Scripture on marriage, or a recurring pattern you want to bring into God’s light. Many couples use both. For a closer look at one common pattern, see why couples keep having the same argument.
When Couples Counseling Is Not Safe
Couples counseling assumes both spouses can speak freely without fear. When one partner uses threats, intimidation, control, or violence, joint sessions can increase danger. The National Domestic Violence Hotline does not encourage anyone in an abusive relationship to seek counseling with their partner. Individual, confidential support from a domestic-violence advocate or appropriately trained professional should come first.
In immediate danger, call 911.
National Domestic Violence Hotline (24/7): call 800-799-SAFE (7233), text START to 88788, or chat at thehotline.org.
What to Expect in Christian Marriage Therapy
An honest assessment
Early sessions usually explore your history, what brought you in, each spouse’s goals, and whether there are safety concerns. Some therapists meet with each spouse individually at least once.
Shared goals
You and your therapist agree on what you are working toward, such as fewer escalations, rebuilding trust, or deciding together about the future of the marriage.
Practice, not just insight
Expect to practice new ways of listening, pausing, apologizing, and repairing. NuWell’s guide on how to apologize to your spouse is one example of the kind of skill couples rehearse.
Faith woven in, at your pace
A Christian therapist should ask how you want faith included. Some couples want prayer and Scripture in sessions; others prefer a quieter integration of Christian values. Either is legitimate.
Ephesians 4:2–3 (NIV)“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”
How to Choose a Christian Marriage Therapist
- Confirm the license. Ask what license the therapist holds and verify it with your state licensing board.
- Ask about couples training. Couples work is a specialty. Ask how much of their practice is with couples and what approach they use.
- Ask how faith is integrated. Listen for respect for both spouses’ convictions, not pressure.
- Ask about safety screening. A careful therapist will screen for abuse and adjust the plan if needed.
- Consider format. Online sessions can make it easier for busy couples to attend consistently; in-person sessions or an intensive may suit others.
If your spouse is not willing to go, you can still get help on your own. See what to do when a spouse refuses marriage counseling.
Questions Christian Couples Often Ask
Is marriage therapy biblical?
Scripture honors wise counsel and calls believers to pursue peace and unity (Ephesians 4:2–3). Seeking a skilled, faith-respecting counselor to help you love each other well is consistent with that calling.
Will a Christian therapist take sides?
A good marriage therapist works for the health of the relationship and the safety of both people, not for one spouse against the other. If you feel consistently sided against, say so in session.
Does Christian marriage therapy work?
Many couples find it helpful, especially when both spouses participate and start before patterns become entrenched. Results vary, and no counselor can guarantee an outcome; honest effort from both spouses matters most.
Does NuWell provide marriage therapy?
No. NuWell provides non-clinical pastoral counseling and coaching for couples. For licensed Christian marriage therapy, NuWell refers to Grace Christian Counseling, which also offers a Christian marriage intensive.
Help for Your Marriage Starts With One Step
“Be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2, NIV).
If both of you are safe and want Scripture-grounded support, NuWell’s care team can help you consider pastoral counseling. For licensed Christian marriage therapy, contact Grace Christian Counseling.
This article was researched with the help of AI and reviewed and edited by Stephen Luther, MEd, MSEd, LPC, for accuracy, Scripture references, and faithfulness to NuWell’s non-clinical scope.
Stephen Luther, MEd, MSEd, LPC, is Executive Director and Founder of Grace Christian Counseling and a licensed professional counselor. He holds a master’s degree in Education and a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Duquesne University and has helped children, adolescents, and adults since 1997. His licensed clinical role at Grace Christian Counseling is separate from NuWell’s non-clinical pastoral counseling and Christian life coaching services.
Scope note: This article is educational and pastoral. It is not diagnosis, psychotherapy, individualized professional or legal advice, domestic-violence services, or emergency care. NuWell provides non-clinical pastoral counseling and Christian life coaching. Grace Christian Counseling is a separate, licensed practice.
Sources
- American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Find a Therapist.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline. Should I Go to Couples Therapy With My Abusive Partner?
- Ephesians 4:2–3 (NIV).
- Grace Christian Counseling. Christian Marriage Counseling.